I have dropped from sight for awhile do to my chronic pain of my back. It has taken over my life. I now am looking in to pain meds the big stuff. I saw a surgeon today and have hope finally after 3 years of this.

They are talking a pain pump or back surgery. I am willing to do anything to rid me of this pain.

I want my life back.

I have been busy with a friends child who is to be in hospital for Christmas. He started with the shakes then migraine headaches now cant swallow and vomits. He is going in to university of Michigan on the children ward. She is a single mom and has spent all her money for this and on bills. I have been trying to do any thing I can for her.

Sorry C I could not get a hold of you to talk and tell you but if you read your email once in a while......

J

s

I tried to make a LJ and could not even get the site loaded Oo

I have had very bad back problems for awhile. I want to start living again. I am looking forward to finishing Times of mending. If for any body it will be for me.

I still love HP I have not found anything that I love as much as it. I am in no hurry.

Loves
SM Malfoy

Things have changed a lot for me in the months that I have not posted. I have found my self working on original fiction more then HP.

Really I don't feel part of the HP fandom any more. I want to work on my own writings then from what other people have wrote aleady.

What I have been working on for awhile now is historical porn in eras that I love (not WW2) But Victorian era French in the time of Mozart, also dark ages.

I don't know if you would like to read such time period porn.

Would you?

I had to have surgrey on my back. I could not take the pain no more. They took a needle and burned the nerves dead just in the area that caused the most pain. I was awake for the whole thing. Don't worry it sounds worse then it was I hardly felt anything. I feel like new person. I still have to see a chiropractor to put spine back in to place. I am just glad to have a life back worth living.


P.S any Lucius slash with Harry or Draco I should know about?

Well no surgery but I have to have shots in to my back and see a back doctor. I am not able to have surgery do to the state my back is in. It is bad...real bad. I am past surgery being help.

The doc told me my headaches can be do to back problems he was not happy that I had to go through so much hassle just to get MRI. I have to go back on July 2 to find out what is up and why I can hardly move with out pain.

I may be looking at surgery if it is in the disks.

I changed Doctors and walked out with two referrals one for my back and one for my brain.

He looked at my complaints and my 64 year old friend was next to me helping me get around it has been so hard to move with back hurting so much, Anyway he looked it over then ask HER and asked when did it start. She pointed to me and he was shocked. "You should not be like this at 38." finally some one is hearing me.

I have so many old friends coming out of the wood work it is not funny. OO I am talking from teens. WOW I missed these guys.

I am having my sons Birthday party and it is going to be crazy. It has a smiley theme. I bought him a swing set for back yard. He loves it.

Yes I am still working on chapter 4 of Mendings just slow going due to sons tube surgery and Birthday party. Life has been a little crazy.

No I have not seen a doc yet but headaches are gone. Back is hurting like hell. I cant wait to see a new doc.

Small update.

I went to the ER because my head hurt so bad I saw double and then almost passed out. Well the doc took a CAT scan then told me to see a Neurologist but did not tell me why. I dont like the sound of this. I could not get in to my regualer doc to get refural to see the Nero untill June. I hope I dont get bad news I am so stress over this.

To take my mine off of it I am working on chapter 4 of Mendings and a original piece about the south USA during the depression wrapped around my Grand mother who was a self made Doctor and mid-wife.

I have had a migraine for 3 weeks. nothing I do makes it go away. -_-

I have a bad case of writers block. I have put the story down to look at it fresh and am going back and reading some of my favorites.

What is your way to cure writers block?

I am spring cleaning now that the weather is warming up. I am going to put things up on eBay I just want to get rid of.

I hate clutter, it fogs up my mind. I obsesses about it. Along with Bi-polar I have OCD wish makes my life and those around me crazy. A cup the JUST was emptyed better be in the kitchen to be washed of I may go off the wall in a fit. I hate dust and finger prints on glass I will clean the whole house just over seeing them. I cant think when the house needs cleaning and to me that is every day.

Also I want to redecorate I am tired of the same old look. I want flowers and some what Victorian look. I wish I had the money but I work with skill and hand-me-downs to work the look.
Any suggestion how to decorate with out putting to much money forward?

Oh I have to share this my sons first full sentence. I was on one phone and my son on the other held by my hubby. Mom: Are you a good boy? Son: When I want to be..
Plain as day and so honest.

What age does a child cut there front teeth after losing the baby teeth?

My son had to have his pulled out at a young age do to them breaking apart. Would that make them come in later?

We in Michigan had a teasing day of almost 70 degrees then snow today.

I want warmth damn it! I am so sick of coats. I got a sinus infection from these changes (ya for seasonal allergies go me)

I love my state I lived here all my life but I hate the weather we get. There is a saying If you don't like Michigan weather wait five minutes it will change.

Oh warmth, oh warmth where can you be? Hiding in the south under some leafy tree....

Two males in love! one on top is Tiny ant the white pillow cat is Luci..we thought Luci was a female but He fooled
us.



Why can't man learn from nature and love the one that loves them.

I was told that I need to see a neurologist for my migraines and spine. I think it is all stress. But they want a MRI. I have only been fighting for a referral for a MRI for a year...Why do Doctors want to admit that a person can sometime be right. I think it has to do with the amount of time there in college and practicing medical that get them over confidence. But really it is our body's and we know when something is not right and a good idea some of our options.


I am so sick of doctors. I want the head aches and back pain gone. It puts me in the bed drugged up to much.

Also why I am on the subject of things that make me sick. Snow. I WANT WARM WEATHER. Oh spring where are you....?

My hubby and I are talking about having a vacation O O. finally I need one so bad. I have not had one in 7 years. I want to go to a cabin and relax not tourist shit just water and crickets.
I want to go to the Osabo river in northern Michigan where the fishing is good and hubby will go off fishing and I can have a good book and day dream. That is my heaven.